2.12.2008

High-Pitched Teenager Repellent Huge in England

"The Mosquito", a mean little gadget that emits high pitched noises only audible to people under the age of 20, has become a popular and widely used tool among mean old people in England. The device tends to be used like this: a shop or certain area is frequented by trouble making teens or kids so a "mosquito" is placed in the area and the noise keeps away the trouble makers and all other kids and babies (!) who happen to be in or pass through the area.

It's a nice little treat for unsuspecting kids. Imagine, kid starts getting mad, uncomfortable, screams. Parent doesn't understand, thinks kid is just being annoying, gets mad at kid. Kid then gets mad at parent and cries and screams.

The company that makes the device, Your Mean Ass Neighbor, Inc., (not really) says the "mosquito" is,

"the most effective tool in our fight against anti social behavior"

My guess is it's probably only slightly more effective than flicking a kid in the ear but it's far less likely to result in an ass kicking at the hands of a murder of 13 year olds. (because they're like crows).

3 comments:

Nostradamus said...

Dude, that's awesome. Wait until they come out with the 20 + version, then there will be "No-Zones" in which a broad-band frequency of competing brain-melting audio weapons will evacuate all humans. The stores will be covered in Guano 'cause it puts Bats in the mood to make love.
Humpback Whales will breech through the floor.
Dogs will sing.
There will be Chaos everywhere.
And then teenagers will loot stores.

Opposed said...

so... what's the theory here?
Dark, brooding, introverted teenagers will be forced to RUN off their enui?
Turn 'em into atheletes?
Nike is the new Doc Marten.
Adidas two-piece sweatsuits will be the new black hoodie.
Depression and social anxiety will have a whole new face!
Parents will send Olympic atheles to counseling.
Hot Topic will sell pedometers.
A new breed of theives with Earplugs will wear "retro" black hoodies whilst pilfering their parent's favorite five-finger discount outlets, and get away with it!
Thanks for NOTHING, Your Mean Ass Neighbor, Inc ™

fish and chip said...

I think the theory is....

We cant well put spikes on the ground and on buildings like we do with sodding pigeons so this is the next best thing.