11.27.2007

Ninjas in New York

Apparently, a ninja is terrorizing Staten Island. A string of burglaries have been attributed to the so-called Ninja Burglar. The most recent break ins were the 17th and 18th attributed to the highly trained assassin.

Now, you may ask how do we know this burglar is a ninja? Here is the evidence:

The burglar is described as a white male, clad in black and what appears to be a ski mask. He's between 5 feet 8 inches and 6 feet tall, and weighs about 180 pounds, Girimonte said. (link)
And...

The Ninja was credited with superhuman recuperative powers after one of his victims, Phil Chiolo of Dongan Hills, reported burying a steak knife to the hilt in the thief's chest on Sept. 6. Chiolo said he was reacting to blows from the burglar's nunchucks. (link)

Finally, the reactions of a startled victim, seals the deal about the burglars training,

The Staten Island Advance reports that Mary Ann Carlo bumped into the intruder. Carlo said, "I started screaming, 'The Ninja is here! The Ninja! The Ninja!'" (link)

By the way the police say the burglar is not a ninja. Liars.

1 comment:

America said...

preface to comment:
this is on the post above (for some reason the comments are disabled)

real comment:
yeah, nintendo's not green, but have you seen this?????? http://www.slate.com/id/2177082/